Late night, Feb 3, 2009

I am finding that care giving can be frustrating; and that I am more of a perfectionist than I am comfortable with.
I got a bedside table for Mom to have at her bed, the kind like they have in the hospital. It doesn't go down low enough for her to use easily. I got her a lamp to put on the bedside table, when her ancient gooseneck lamp switch broke. The new lamp has a switch on the cord, that turns, rotates. She has trouble turning it with her arthritic finger and thumb. The night light bulb burnt out, after I discovered I needed to put it in another outlet, as the outlet by her bed was filled with cords to the bed, and her light. and the nightlight would not fit between the other plugs. It's kind of a thing like: the coke machine broke. The last straw. So now she will have even more trouble with the lamp, as she is in darkness, trying to turn on the light.

So, I need to turn this around and find gratitude. I am grateful that this morning, when I went in, she was singing a good morning song. And she was able to walk into the kitchen, with her walker, rather than go with the wheelchair. There will be good days and less good days. I am grateful I was able to go in the hot tub for a while tonight. And the Hungarian goulash, minus the paprika, bell peppers and diced tomatoes was still delicious. Right now, right now, right now.